Marriage today is getting harder and harder.  There are a lot of things competing for the time of our spouses.  Just choosing a spouse is harder now as well.  From all of the influences in our lives like, TV, radio, movies, social media sites (Facebook), we have a lot to contend with.

Marriage even the first time seems to be a battle and you are already up against the wall.  the failure rate of marriage is more than 50% no.  This means that your odds are not that great for making the right choice.  That being said, many times the problem is not the other person.  Many times the problem is you.

In this blog I want to share with you some of my story, my insight, and give you some direction on how you can do better.  Whatever your situation is today, it can be better.  If you are getting married for the first time, the 3rd time, or if you are contemplating divorce, please read on.

I have been married 3 times so I believe I have some particular insight to what I am about to teach you.  My first marriage lasted about 4 years.  My second lasted 5 and my first child came from that marriage.  As of today I have been with my current wife for over 8 years now and we have 2 children together.

OK now that I have told you my personal business, let me tell you some more.  My first two marriages were doomed from the start.  The first time I was married I was simply lonely after being in the military and needed someone to be there with me, but there was no real love there.  At least not what I know love to be now.  That marriage ended with no huge fight or altercation, we just realized that we were not happy together so we ended it.

My second marriage was riddled with problems from infidelity, lies, and distrust.  At the end it was bitter and produced a lot of pain as well as many other issues that I have to deal with to this day.  I must admit that from the beginning I didn’t have full confidence in what I was doing, but I did it and paid the consequences for it.  More than anything that I have done wrong in my life, the decision to marry a second time has been the biggest mistake of life.

Don’t worry the good stuff is coming.

When I met my current wife it was very different from anything else.  Before I go further I want you to realize that we have had to overcome some very difficult things in our marriage.  Honestly we almost did not make it.  You see beyond my own multiple marriages, my wife has had multiple marriages as well.  Our marriage had less than a 30% chance of success according to the statistics, but there is just one thing that has held us together.  I will talk about that later.

I believe that many times people are looking for answers in their spouse that they should be looking for in themselves.  I hear things like, “She does not make me happy anymore”, or “He is not what I need”.  The truth is that joy comes from the inside.  Love moves outward and is an action from you to the other person.  You see if you are not happy, you can never look to someone else to make you happy.  Honestly that is just too much pressure on someone.  You not being happy is more a symptom of what is wrong with you, not the other person.

First let’s take off the table anything dealing with domestic violence or infidelity.  In fact if domestic violence is an issue in your relationship you simply need to leave and don’t look back.  OK that being said, if you are unhappy with the person you are married to you have to ask yourself this question.  Why?

Are you unhappy because they are not doing for you what you need done?  Are they not giving you the attention you want?  Are they not talking to you enough?  Are they not showing you the affection you need?  Right now I want you to be encouraged because these are easy fixes if you have the right tools to do it.

One of the things that is so hard for new couples and couples that have been married awhile to do is to press through the pain.  This is multiplied when you have gone through this over and over with other people and you find yourself dealing with it over again with this person.  Before I give you more information on this let me tell you a story.

About 16 years ago I was involved with a woman that I was thinking about marrying.  This woman was about 5 years older than me and also lived with her mother.  I dealt over and over again with “the Mother” being controlling and making decisions for my, at the time, girl friend.  When I think back on it, I think that her mom was just scared that her daughter would leave and she would be alone.  That is just my opinion though.  My own mother pulled me to the side one day when I was complaining about the situation and said this…

“What you get before is what you get after”.

Those simple words have really helped me even to this day when I am dealing with people.  If you don’t get it yet, what my mom meant was this.  What I was dealing with before I marry this girl is what I was going to get after I marry her.  You see, people really do not change.  Many times people will say things like, “after I get married I won’t hang out any more”, or, “after I get married I won’t drink anymore”.  The truth is this and will always be true so remember it.  What you get before is what you get after.

When you are dealing with issues of not really getting what you want in a relationship you simply have to give more of what you want in return.  When you give love, love comes back.  It may take a while, but love always comes back.  If it does not then that is not a reflection on you then.  It is a reflection on them.  This process may take some time months, maybe even years.  The point is in the end you get peace and closure because you know you have done all you need to.

One of the other things is that you may need to involve a 3rd party like a counselor, a pastor , or maybe a parent.  However you involve in your situation, it must be someone that both of you love, trust, and respect.  If not then it will not work.  Many people today are not willing to do what it takes to save a marriage that is worth saving.  A lot of times pride, pain, and arrogance get in the way.

The thing is that those base emotions never serve us well.  Being humble, patient, and loving always works.  It is the foundation that holds any marriage together.  You see love is not about what you get, it is what you give.  It does not matter if you in your first marriage or your fourth.  If you don’t change the type of person YOU are then nothing will work.  Multiple marriages are not about problems you have with others.  They are about problems you have with yourself.

If you ever want to talk about your personal situation or need direction I am here to help.  I do a free 15 minute consultation to really help you start assessing what may help you and your current marriage situation.  To make an appointment with me simply  CLICK HERE

My own marriage is better now than ever.  Yes we have had our problems, but we both discovered that our marriage was dependent on each of us healing past hurt and becoming better people.  Doing this put us on the path of being better for each other.  I love my wife dearly and she is the woman of my dreams.  I want to thank my parents and our marriage counselor for really focusing us in on what was important.

CLICK HERE to schedule your free 15 minute consultation with me.

Thanks,

Dr. Earl B. Hall, Jr.

Of course I know churches are hurting financially, but that is indicative of the entire world.  If the members are hurting then of course the finances of the church will hurt.  The times that we are in now cause me to take pause and wonder if supporting a huge organization like a church is actually worth it any more.  I’m sorry to say that and I am quite sure some are even angry with me saying that, but it is really how I feel.

When I look at scripture it does not talk about supporting an organization (yes Old Testament talks about the temple, but now WE are the temple NOT the church).  In the New Testament it talks about supporting a preacher that teaches well.  It also talks about providing for those in need.  It talks about taking care of widows and the poor.  As I read and meditate on this more I wonder why we don’t support each other more.

What I mean is this.  If I give my money to someone I know needs it, then I am serving God right?  Now that is really a rhetorical question, because that is absolutely true.  Maybe giving so much of our money to support an organization like a physical church is not what is needed.  Maybe seeing people in need and allowing God to lead us in our giving is what is really part of our reasonable service to Him.

Before many of you get in to much of an uproar, I do think that preachers that are true should be given support for giving you spiritual teaching and helping you find your way in Christ.  That being said, if any preacher is teaching that the reason you are broke right now is because you’re not giving enough should be left and never followed again unless God changes their heart.

What I really want you to see is this.  Giving to people in need is giving to God.  Giving to church is still needed if that church has its root in giving and supporting those in need.  Quite simply, it may be time to rethink what true giving is all about.

I would love to know your thoughts.

Churches in the U.S. and across the globe are facing dyer financial struggles right now.  Offerings every Sunday seem to be less and less.  People are not giving as much and frankly no one wants to hear anymore that if you give more God will bless.

These are the facts and churches everywhere are feeling the pain and facing the fear of having to cut programs or worst of all, close the doors completely.

The First Reason Churches are Broke and Not Growing

First of all the church relies solely on offerings and donations from its members.  In some cases they may also rely on government grants to help them with different social programs they have as well.  The stark reality is that people are just not giving as much anymore.  Think about it. How can they?  People everywhere are facing job loss and in many cases reduction in salary and benefits.

Since 2008 we all have been facing an economic crisis of global proportions.  The frightening fact is that it really does not look like it is getting any better.  When you look at the fact that really only about 10% of any congregation really supports a ministry financially and the rest are kind of just there, you start to understand why things are getting so bad.

People that make up your strong financial base have lost jobs and are literally holding on to their tithes and offerings in order to just try and stay afloat.  Let’s just be honest if someone has to choose between paying the electric bill or putting money in the plate…well you know what will happen.

The Second Reason Churches are Broke and Not Growing

Most pastors that are responsible for a small congregation of 50 or less people really bear the financial burden themselves.  These leaders are working full time and using much of their income to support the ministry and even help their members that are struggling financially.  In fact many times people join a ministry in tough times because they believe that the church or ministry will give them money to make.

Here is the question.  If the leader is bearing the financial weight and they lose their job, how can the ministry survive?  How can you help others as a leader if you are at your end and can’t see day light for yourself?

Pastors and ministry leaders are finding themselves simply out of options because they can’t continue to provide financial support for their ministry when they themselves need financial support.  What is the answer for all of this?

The Third Reason Churches are Broke and Not Growing

Doing fund raising and having your money (no matter how small) work for you is something that most new and small ministries just don’t understand.  If a ministry leader does not know how to raise money or leverage money outside of the tithes and offerings received then failure may be right around the corner.

A funny situation that is true is this.  People with money know how to make money, because they have done it.  People without money and no guidance will usually remain in a desperate and deplorable condition.

Understanding how to take a little money and leverage that over let’s say 24 months, can change your complete outlook and situation for your ministry.

What $10 Can Do To Change Your Life?

Recently a person I know “with money” shared something with me that has changed my personal outlook and my outreach programs.  When I looked at this initially I really didn’t know what to think.  I mean all of us have been jaded think everything is a scam.

You see most of us simply tune out stuff because we are now conditioned to believe that everything is a lie.  We simply DON’T BELIEVE ANYMORE!

Well profit sharing in a company that is making BILLIONS can take you from where you are to a place that you really want to be.  With this I get paid every night based on the profits of the company.  On Average I make about 1.5% a night on my money.  Actually last night (as I am writing this email) I made 1.9%.

What makes this a true blessing  is that I get paid every single night and my money just keeps growing.  You see when you are interested in building wealth over time and not OVERNIGHT, anyone can change their life with as little as $10 a month.

How Does This Work?

If you are a patient type of person that is looking for real profit sharing and real wealth development for you and your ministry, you can do some great things.  As an example if we use the very real scenario of profit sharing this is what can happen.

If you subscribe for just $10 a month and forget about it and never do anything else, $10 a month building at 1.5% on a daily basis turns into $13,871.74 over just 24 months.

All of that is from a subscription from you of only $10 a month.  Using that same scenario, if you subscribed for $50 a month it would be $69,358.71.

Well what I did was subscribe at the highest level possible of $99 a month.  With just that and using the same scenario as above I will have $138,717.42. This is all from me only spending $2400 over 24 months on my subscription.

Honestly, if I did not see my money growing every day I would never have done this.  But now that I am in, I am a happy camper to say the least.  But seriously the reason people don’t take advantage of different offers is because they can’t see immediate results like I am seeing and many others in this program are seeing every day.

In fact one of the things people hate the most is the fact that if they do want to take advantage of an opportunity they can’t talk to the person or get any help.  Well I am going to change that.  You see I want you ministry to grow

What Should You Do Next?

Well oddly enough if want to see what I have been able to do I want you to call right now 414 369 2257.  Yep that is my number and you can call me right now and I will explain this whole thing to you.  Also If you like you can simply go to this site CLICK HERE and get more information and then call me.

Whatever makes you comfortable do that.  I also want to make you three promises right now!

• You will make money guaranteed!
• You will make money every day guaranteed!
• You will never have to know anything technical guaranteed!

Call me now at 414 369 2257 or CLICK HERE
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¹I THEREFORE, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to and beg you to walk (lead a life) worthy of the [divine] calling to which you have been called [with behavior that is a credit to the summons to God’s service,

²Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.

Being in leadership carries a tremendous responsibility with it.  So many times we see leaders trying to lead by force, intimidation, and coercion.  I have found out that the true power of a leader comes from the God within.  What I mean is that our titles do not carry power, our position will never command respect or obedience.

No, our true power comes from knowing that God has given us an assignment and if people follow then they will be blessed.  If they do not then God will handle that as well.  It is not up to us to make people feel like they have to do what we say because of our title, position, or office.

Whenever there is conflict within the church or the home those in leadership must operate in “lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience…”  If we don’t operate this way are not operating in love or with the mind of Christ.

If you are a pastor then there is no need to act as if you are a king.  What I mean is that so many times you NEVER see pastors or leaders in the Body operate in meekness.  I am not saying 100% of the time you see this, but I am saying that you this in many instances where leaders don’t operate in meekness.

Our leadership does not come because we enforce it.  Our leadership comes because God does.  All you can do is walk in your calling and be obedient to what God tells you.  If others are not obedient to your office or calling…they will answer.  Not to you, but to God.

Lead wisely and lead in LOVE.

I found myself looking through the 14 ‘so called’ Christian stations that we have on Direct TV. I am not going to call the name of this ‘preacher’ but he was on giving away miracle water.  He was showing scenes of people from his services testifying to the power in this ‘miracle’ water.  He was also ‘prophesying’ to people (after he let them tell you that they never spoke to him before).

Low and behold I saw another ‘preacher’ giving away ‘green prosperity’ cloths.  He was pretty much doing the same thing as the first ‘preacher’.

There were other shows on by some well known preachers.  Some of them I actually try and catch as often as I can.

I started to think about the channels that say that they have Christian programming.  This could be TV or radio.  I started thinking about the programs that we hear on them.

• Many of them don’t agree on key points of scripture
• Many of them have strong denominational ties
• Many of them  contradict each other on teachings of
  • Salvation
  • Tithing
  • Giving
  • Blessings

All of this made me think about us as people that are looking to hear a Word from the Lord.  Believe me I am not one to bash preachers, but some of these people on some of these channels are simply lying to us.  I am not that smart to think that I am the first or only person to question these things.

The point I want to make is…I believe that most religious television will simply confuse you if you watch it all day long.  You must have a very firm and strong foundation in Christ.  This of course comes from knowing Christ for yourself.  This is done through prayer, study of the Word, meditation, and sound biblical teaching.

Well doesn’t everyone claim to have sound biblical teaching?  Yep, and that is where the problem is.  How do we know who is teaching what the Bible calls SOUND DOCTRINE?

I believe that following Christ is guided by one thing and one thing only…Love.  When you live and walk in love God is your guiding force.  Only through the power of love can you be assured of anything.

In the book of I Corinthians and the 13^th chapter you can learn exactly what love is.  Since August of 2010 I have spent a lot of time contemplating and meditating on this chapter that is dedicated to love.  I believe that understanding the concepts of love will fully prepare anyone for anything that they need to face.

Showing, having, and living in love will reveal a power to you that you may have never experienced yet.  I am speaking far beyond being in overflow of the spirit or speaking in tongues.  I am speaking of living in way that you instantly have peace in ANY situation.  I am speaking of walking in confidence and a certainty like never before.

Beyond the religious TV that we may watch from time to time, we must have a love relationship with God.

If you have insight on this I would like to know your comments and questions.

For some reason every day I find myself looking for a Word on TV.  We have Direct TV in our home so we have 15, yep 15 different “Christian” channels to choose from.  With all of these channels targeted at the Christian, you would think that you could get a serious word ALL THE TIME in regards to right living and such.

Now believe me I’m not bashing anyone, I am simply making an observation and here it is.  Why does it seem like financially blessing is what is mostly talked about?  Now before you form an opinion about what I am saying, let me say this.  I realize that we all need money to survive in this world today.  I also realize that in order to real ministry you need money, but…What about how to live right?

It seems like financial blessings have become the end all be all of determining if God even really loves you.  It seems like the only struggles we are having are of a financially nature.  What about those struggling with infidelity, or obesity, or lying, or profanity, or pornography…you get the picture.

When I see, mostly see that is, are preachers praying for a financial break through.  My goodness, if many of us are really honest with ourselves we have all the basic necessities of life we need.  How do I know this?  I know this to be true of you right now because the only way you can even see this is if you are online or have a smart phone.  That lets me know that you have money to spare.

I dare say we don’t have everything we want, but we all have everything we need.  Even the troubles with the economy right now, just think about this.  Even though people have been laid off, lost income, lost homes, lost cars, lost possessions…you still have enough money to be online, eat, and stay alive somehow?

Now before you go and give me this example and that example, you are still alive right?  OK so you have every need provided for you somehow.  All of that being said, I don’t think it is more money we need.  I believe money, wealth, riches, etc. come from living a life of obedience.  I mean just think about this.  If you lived how God wanted you to live.  If you were living a life filled with love.  Wouldn’t God honor that and provide for you?

Doesn’t the Word teach us to seek Him first and all of these things will be added unto you?  Anyway those are just some thoughts I had this morning.  I would like to know yours.  Lets discuss it below in the comment area.
 

We use terms like keeping up with the Jones’ to describe people that want to be like their neighbors.  As individuals we say, “No that’s not me.”  But when we see someone else with a better phone, a new ipad, or even better business cards we do all we can to find out how we can get those same things.

We look at our current situations and define our lives by what we don’t have instead of what we do have.  My grandparents raised 7 children in a 3 bedroom house that was no more than 1800 square feet.  I spent many a holiday in that house with all of my cousins and never thought that anything was wrong with that.

Today we have homes that are 3000+ square feet with rooms we now call GREAT ROOMS and only have on average 2 kids.  We are always stressed out over bills and we do not even communicate anymore because every room has a TV and computer.  Our kids are in their rooms online, on the phone, and watching TV all at the same time.

Instead of actually having a conversation we are texting and IMing.  This with people right in the same house!  Even while we are out we have our smart phones and are carrying on conversations with people while supposedly out with a loved one.  We have become so attached to things that we are no longer really attached to people.

It has become sadly interesting to me that we can develop relationships with people online that we have never met, but having a relationship with our children or spouses has become strained.  We accept and crave more “friends” and “fans” on Facebook more than we crave real connections and intimacy with real people in front of us.  We feel obligated to “poke back” to someone we will never meet rather than communicating honestly with people we say we love.

Our addiction to things is something that I believe will be studied more in the years to come.  Our laptops, smart phones, and tablets are becoming literal extensions of ourselves.  We refuse to be without them, even for a moment.  Be honest your phone even goes with you to the bathroom, doesn’t it?

We have developed a craving for the newest “things” and have lost interest in what is vital to us as a society…real relationships.  We have lost all reason when it comes to debt.  Just look at the world.  The entire world is in crisis, but we still are shopping and buying more and more useless stuff because we have convinced ourselves that stuff is going to make us happy.  We have fooled ourselves into believing that we deserve a bigger house, a better car, and other things because they momentarily satisfy our greatest addiction…PRIDE.

Our down fall is our pride and arrogance to want to be more important than we are.  We want to feel like a rock star even though we can’t sing.  What I mean is that the reason that shows about movie stars, and singers attract us is because we want to live that lavish life style.  The funny thing is that most of them go into debt trying to fool you into believing that that is how they really can AFFORD to live.

Don’t you know that people that have more money than you are still in debt because they are trying to keep up with someone else?  I mean when is enough, enough?  When do we finally start being satisfied and stop chasing insignificant “things”?

I can imagine many people literally going to their graves not satisfied with life because they didn’t reach a goal however insignificant.  I also see those same people at that point of death finally realizing that I could have had it all.  Yes you do have it all right now.  The Apostle Paul said that, “…for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

When will we ever be content?
 

What is your deepest fear? I have heard the poem that asks this question in recent movies and it has touched me on a deep level. I watched the movie “Akeelah and the Bee” while watching cable and this poem was quoted. So many of us try and do what is simple and take the path of least resistance because it suits us. This journey of life is filled with many obstacles and roadblocks. It is intended to be that way in order to make you into the exact “you” that you are to be. Most people miss the opportunity to grow and give up and give in to pressure.

A few years ago I preached a sermon at my father’s church in Mechanicsville, Virginia and I dealt with pressure. I said to the congregation that a diamond is one of the most valuable things that we have. It comes from a piece of coal. Well, how is a diamond formed? It is formed by pressure. Every piece of coal does not become a diamond. Only the ones that stand up under pressure are able to be formed into this valuable stone.

You Need to be a Diamond

Most people look externally to the reasons why they fail in life. In order for you to be just what God intends for you to be, you must stand against the pressure of life and come out on the other end as a diamond.

The first line of that poem starts like this, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us, …” When we are young, we have dreams and goals that are lofty. I say lofty because most people do not even believe that you will go after what you want. Let’s face it, most people just wind up settling for what life throws at them instead of going out and getting what is rightfully theirs to begin with.

You have a right, more than that a promise from God himself that you will be able to have peace, joy, and prosperity. We have these promises from our creator and we do not take full advantage of them. Why? Because when times get hard, most give up.

You cannot be a blessing to me if you do not do what God called you to do. You can not be a blessing to the world unless you stand the pressure and become a diamond.

In part my success is dependent on you playing your part in the world. If Martin or Malcolm did not stand up, I would not be where I am today. If Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, and other black leaders did not risk death, my freedom may have never come. If you do not do what you were created to do, who will you hold back?

The Bible says that wide is the way that leads to destruction. The path to Him is called strait (not straight). This word means hard or difficult. This path builds character. This path builds leaders. Stop looking at challenges as “give up” points. Look at them as the way to create something precious in you.

I know that this simple blog may not get you out of the hurt you feel right now.  I do hope it gets you to see that the pain or the struggle you are in right now is not for your destruction.

It is making you!  Understand?

You will soon be able to realize your full potential.  All it will take is learning the exact process of how to reach your goals by blowing through your obstacles, pain, challenges, and frustrations.  This is why The True Way is here.  Visit often and see just how awesomely blessed your life will become.